Participating in your marriage is not a reward, it is the bare minimum!
Does your husband feel entitled to your body because he married you? Even though you are supposed to marry out of love, not just to have sex with that person whenever you want to!
Just remember that expecting your wife to have sex with you out of obligation is rather abusive.
Women then see the kindness as a form a cohesion, So many women are treated like they are nonexistent until there is a sexual motive. And they do all the emotional labor, without any emotional support. But if you are trying to train your wife to fear rejection for sexual advances then your no better than a predator. And expecting your wife to have sex with you out of obligation rather than desire is abusive.
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