(1) When you find yourself asking for help...or a relative actually goes out of their way and helps you and you didn't even know what weight that lifted off of you...
To all the momma's out there, you are doing a fine job caring for your little ones and putting their needs first. But you only have two hands and two feet. It is exhausting when you're constantly having to ask another completely able bodied person to help you out with small tasks, like help with the dishes or get dinner ready.
You're both grown adults and know what responsibility looks like. If you find yourself using this phrase often, then it means he isn't helping out enough.
(2) His first response to your requests are "later".
Both of you are tired after you finish your day of work and have to do a speedy job of tidying up. But when he replies "later" to all of your requests to take the laundry out, he needs to be reminded that he is not a passenger parent!
(3) You're constantly reminding him what he needs to do
Parenting is no easy feat. There isn't a blueprint to how to parent effectively, although there are lot of guides, social media, and platforms that offer self-help tips. However, your husband is definitely not being a team player when you have to constantly tell him what needs to be done next.
(4) You fell like you run the household single handedly.
Do you find yourself having to keep track of all the doctor appointments? Calendar events? Or having to reschedule your own plans to fit the kids in, because no one is able to watch the kids? Momma, you are probably taking too much on your plate at this point.
(5) You're writing a manual for parenting / adulting / life if he is left alone.
He says he can look after the little ones alone while you run to the store, no problem. But come the hour, doesn't necessarily cometh the man. Suddenly a barrage of questions come your way. He doesn't even know what their favorite shows are or know what they like to eat. Find yourself writing a billion little post-it notes or writing reams of instructions akin for a household appliance manual? If your husband doesn't have a clue what to doe when he is along with the kids, he probably isn't ready for the task! Or may not even want it!
(6) Your kids run to you first for all things.
A sure sign of your husband not doing enough parenting is when your children always run to you. Whether it is because of a banged knee, a diaper change, they are hungry, or for a little cuddle, your kids should feel happen to turn to either parent. So when you've got your little ones coming to you over all sorts of issues, your husband should let them know he is available for support as well!
(7) He expects praise every time he does something.
The man of the house likes to be praised when he achieves something difficult. And while parenting isn't easy, let's be honest - who praises you, momma, when you continue your motherly jobs after a full day at work? As a father, he should also carry the mantle with the same responsibility you do.
(8) You make the final decision (like, all of them)!
Parenting means important decisions around your children's futures need to be made. If you find you're the one who to push both of you off the fence and make commitments, then he needs to step up. It's great that you are assertive and demonstrate leadership, momma; but your husband also needs to learn how to be confident and make choices that have your children's best interest at heart.
(9) He sleeps like a rock during the night!
This is especially rough if you are both working! After all, both of you have to wake up and do your day job. But if you find you're the one who always wakes up at night to comfort your child, or change their diaper, then your husband isn't doing enough parenting.
...am I the only one who deals with this stuff?
I know it is not a weakness to tell your husband that you can do it on your own. In fact, not too long ago, it was the status quo, that women do the parenting, while men's primary responsibility involved being breadwinners.
But we all deserve a benefit from better sleep, a more positive sense of wellbeing, and a healthier marriage. Right?
Comments